my prayer

The idea of travel has been eating me for a while now. God knows I’ve been ripping my heart and my mind out, trying to find my purpose. I need to know what to do about my life, this life I spend sitting in front of the computer, doing work, surfing the net, and anything not involving any strenuous activity. Well, today is the culmination of years of pondering, the never ending coffee conversations about the future, and the nights I lay awake on my bed, thinking, what the hell should I be doing. 

Before I resigned in IBM, I was set on writing my way out of poverty, probably live in Laguna for a few months until I’m able to stand on my own again. I gave myself another chance at DSM, however, hoping maybe there is something for me in the corporate world after all. But what I really want is to write. I couldn’t find myself writing at times but I would really, really love to write. I would write for work, for myself, for my audience around the world. Prof., a friend I met seven years ago once told me he felt I was destined for something big. Well, Prof., I think this is it. I believe in it with all my heart.

I was afraid. What if in the process of writing my way into the world, I lose contact of society. Be a recluse behind closed doors. Being the blabbermouth that I am, I shared my dilemma to Jaime, a man who truly inspires me. He said, “CJ, what do you think about writing from different places around the world?” And my heart exploded. I felt fireworks ignite inside my chest. I am going to write from beautiful places around the world. I will find beauty in grit, in chaos, in nature, in people, in frustration, in traffic, in family, in love, in my future lovely kids, and in my future lovely husband. For this I thank the truly inspiring people I got to know through the wonderful age of information, a.k.a. the internet. They are the travel writers around the globe, the writers and film makers who make my eyes twinkle with light, and my friends who believe that our life is an expedition and we should trek the best out of its stony path.

Today I start my journey to the future. And the whole world will be my address. I will walk all its paths with a smile pasted on my liver and my heart giggling with delight. And may God be always with me. Amen.