did he just tell me he loves me?

Panic mode.

I think I'm panicking -- because this block of ice in my chest is aflutter. I think it's gonna crack.

But I don't care. 

So I have this longstanding crush on this guy in the office. He's a part of our book club. We just finished having coffee in the pantry when I asked him about the book we last read. It's about the way the protagonist's father touches his son's hand to tell him that he loves him. The protagonist, Chris, is autistic so his dad needs to tell him "I love you" this way: the dad holds out his hand and spreads his fingers like a fan... Chris would do the same, until their fingers touch.

He (my crush -- let's call him "P"), demonstrated it to me (his right hand touching his left hand) and I said, "Oh, okay."

And then I put my cups in the sink. P was behind he.

When I turned around, P smiled at me... softly called out my name... and held out his right hand like a fan.